Intoxicated
by KevlarMasquerade
Summary: The things Robin does for his friends. Wally's birthday is today, and of all things, he wants to go clubbing. It's a hastle, honestly. Breaking out the civilian identity, bribing their way in. And... what was it that Starfire once said? "Blinding lights and pounding music." Speaking of Starfire... aliens don't metabolize alcohol the way humans do, do they? RobStar Flinx BBRae


**I'm sorrrry. I'm supposed to be writing chapter 11 of Reach and I didn't do that. I was supposed to have it done yesterday and I DIDN'T DO IT AND I DID THIS INSTEAD. Whoops. You guys… Mist & Shadows got 1,000 views! That is INSANE! That's like 300 views a month. More than that, really. INSANITY. So as a thank you, I'm giving you this little oneshot where I make Robin go back to a club. It's not connected to Mist & Shad, btw. It's also much sillier. (I seem to be doing a lot of silly oneshots lately.)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

"This is stupid," Dick sighed.

Wally punched him in the arm. "It is not! It's fun!" He paused and narrowed his eyes at his friend. "Fun," he repeated very slowly, like he was teaching a child a new word. "Fffffuuuuunnnn. Now you try saying it."

Dick glared at him. "Don't make me hurt you."

"You'd have to catch me first."

Both boys were dressed to the nines; dark wash jeans that belled out at the bottom, clean button-down shirts, blazers. Kid Flash even went so far as to wear dressy shoes, although Robin opted for a pair of clean black Converse. He was so much more comfortable in sneakers. They were in a sleek, dark town car, both boys sitting in the back seat. Dick was leaning his elbow against the door and had the heel of his hand on his temple. He let his hair kind of just do its own thing- he couldn't wear it in the usual spikes as that was far too noticeable. Wally was chattering excitedly to him. He was excited about the car and the club they were about to visit. His hair was gently spiked, looking more tousled than deliberate.

"Come on. It's my birthday. I wanted to spend it with my best buddy." Wally smiled at him, flashing his teeth.

Dick sighed. "Don't you have a girlfriend to do these types of things with?"

"The way I choose to celebrate my birthday with my girlfriend is not fit for the public," the redhead answered with a dreamy smile.

"Gross."

"You asked. Speaking of girlfriends, how's Starfire?'

The Teen Wonder glared at his friend. "How many times do I have to tell you she's not my girlfriend?"

"Secret girlfriend," Wally chirped.

Dick's glare deepened. "It's not like that."

"So secret you don't even know about it."

"Remember who's paying for all this."

"Well, damn, if you're _that_ insistent about not dating her, I shouldn't have done all that work trying to get Jinx!"

"I don't like what you're implying."

"Right, cuz she's your secret girlfriend. I win." There was a buzz and Wally reached into his pocket and opened the keyboard on his phone.

"Who are you texting?" Dick asked, slightly annoyed.

"Jinx."

Dick rolled his eyes and flicked his wrist forward, making a whip noise.

"Hey, at least I'm gettin' some."

The car stopped and Dick leaned forward to tip the driver before getting out. He passed the bouncer some cash and he let them in right away.

"This is so cool, man!" Wally cheered behind him.

"I hate doing this," Dick grumbled.

"That's because you hate fun." Wally grabbed Dick's arm and started pulling him.

"I'm not dancing," he snapped, blinking at the lights.

"I know that. Just-"

Dick wrenched his arm out of his friend's grasp.

Wally gave an exaggerated sigh. "Fine. Stay here. I'll be right back. Don't move. Stay."

Dick watched his friend disappear, wondering how it'd come to this. His Titans communicator was in his pocket and he desperately wanted to check in with his team. Raven and Starfire were taking the night off- something about hanging out with Jinx. Cyborg and Beast Boy were patrolling while the others were gone, and Robin just wanted to check in at the Tower. Make sure all the security protocols were in place.

"Oh my god! Are you Dick Grayson?"

He went rigid, wishing that something terrible would attack the club and swallow him whole.

A blonde girl touched him on the arm. "Oh my god!" she repeated excitedly. "You totally are!"

He almost shouted in alarm as he turned. He was talking to Kitten. Kitten, who'd forced him into taking her to prom. Kitten, who'd initially captured him for the Brotherhood of Evil.

"My name's Kitten. Do you… do you want dance?" she asked, blushing a little.

"No," he snapped.

She narrowed her eyes at him, looking flustered and offended at the same time. "Why not?"

"I don't dance." Oops. He could distinctly remember saying that to her before.

That made her even angrier. "Don't be silly. Why are you at a club if you don't dance?"

"Hey! Dude!" Wally shouted as he approached him. He paused. "Oh, you're talking to a girl…"

Dick glanced back at Kitten and made his way over to Wally. "Get me out of here."

"What?" Wally asked, confused.

"Oh! Is that Dick Grayson?"

Dick blinked back at the girl Wally was holding by the wrist. "Is that Jinx?" he demanded, confused.

She'd put her hair down, parted in the middle. The bubblegum pink hair spilled down just past her neck. She wore a deep purple peplum dress and impossibly tall shoes that strapped onto her ankles. If it wasn't for the little boost of height Wally's dress shoes gave him, she'd be taller than him.

"Yep." The Fastest Boy Alive graced Dick with a wide, toothy smile before it faded quickly. "Um, don't get mad, especially not at me, but I think the girls might have gotten a little… um…"

Dick blinked again. "The girls?"

Wally gestured behind him, where a redhead and Raven were sitting at one of the round tables that flanked the dance floor. "Jinx brought Star and Rae with her. We can all hang out!"

There were a few things wrong here. First of all, seeing Raven among all these flashing lights and not in her usual uniform was enough to throw him. Second, he was sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the redhead was Starfire. Except that she was clearly not Starfire. Red eyebrows arched over her eyes, somehow giving her face a much more feline appearance than usual, making her cheekbones stand out a little more. Her eyes were not their usual solid green, he could tell from this far away. And it was hard to tell exactly with all the lights flashing and the different colors, but her skin didn't have its usual golden hue.

"What?" Dick hissed at Wally.

"Yeah! Surprise!" He threw his arms wide and grinned.

Dick narrowed his eyes. "This is so not good. I haven't told them my-"

"They don't know!" Wally interrupted.

"What."

"They don't know you're you. And they don't know I'm me. Well, Jinx does. And I think Raven knows I'm me. Can she sense that stuff? She probably can. But I didn't tell them you're you."

"I thought we were just going out for your birthday," Dick said accusingly.

"Aw, c'mon. We are! All together!"

"We could've just thrown you a party at the Tower."

"That's boring! Besides, look at you, getting some action." Wally nodded toward Kitten.

"Don't. She's not-" He paused. Jinx appeared to be swaying at Wally's side. She was smiling too widely and she wasn't focusing her gaze on anything. "What's wrong with Jinx?"

"Yeeeeeah. Dick. Be cool." Wally ran his hand through his hair nervously. "She's drunk."

Dick smacked his palm to his forehead. "What? How? She's underage!"

"Yeah. Okay, so some dude bought them drinks." He gave Jinx a stern glance as he said that, which she returned with a giggle.

"They're all…?"

"Ummm… I dunno. Raven seems fine. Kinda pissed. She's always like that, isn't she?"

"Why didn't you tell me your best friend was Dick Grayson!" Jinx scolded Wally. "He's like… a billionaire!"

"Um…" Dick shifted uncomfortably and kicked at the ground.

"Sorry," Wally mumbled. "Drunk. Jinx, why don't you take us back to your friends?"

Jinx giggled. "You didn't say Wally Says," she purred in his ear.

Dick was torn between feeling extremely uncomfortable at the display and amused by the shade of red Wally turned. "Come on… just wait ten minutes…"

She sulked but turned, teetering in her shoes, and led them to her table. "Ladies," Jinx announced, "This is Wally. He's going to keep me company tonight." She raised her wrist and tangled her fingers in his hair behind his head, pressing her back against his front. He put his arms around her waist, grabbing her tightly.

Raven scowled at him. She knew exactly who he was, he could tell. "If you had company already, what are we doing here?" The empath snapped at the pink haired sorceress.

"What about the Kid Flash?" Starfire asked anxiously, fiddling with an empty martini glass in front of her.

"What he doesn't know won't kill him. Bye!" Jinx pushed him onto the dance floor, where they disappeared into a mass of people.

Dick flopped down into a chair sulkily and he crossed his arms over his chest tightly, putting one Converse sneaker on the leg of the table to push the chair back on two legs.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Raven asked.

She hadn't done anything to her hair, but the dress she was wearing suited her. It was a simple sleeveless, black dress. The hem was at her mid-thigh, but fringe continued down to her ankles. He could only imagine her being forced into the tall, black shoes as she tried to fight Starfire and Jinx off, coming out apparently unsuccessful.

"Same as you, I guess. It's Wally's birthday. He roped me into this." He watched as Starfire picked up a bright red drink and sipped it. "How many of those has she had?"

"I don't know. Guys keep bringing her drinks."

"What?" Dick spluttered. He glared at Raven, who looked somewhat amused at his reaction. "Shouldn't you be watching her?"

"I started out watching her! I left for two seconds to go to the bathroom- which, by the way, was a terrible experience- and she had two whole drinks while Jinx was supposed to be watching her. Not that she's doing much better." Raven rolled her eyes. "Get me out of here."

"I'm just as stuck as you are. By the way, did you know Kitten's here?"

Raven actually smiled at that. "At least I'm not having as bad a time as you are."

Dick frowned at her. "Thanks."

"Raven!" Starfire exclaimed suddenly, standing so quickly she knocked her chair down. "Please come dance with me."

Raven shot her a look that would have withered the petals off a daisy, but she didn't seem to notice.

"You may join us, if you wish," she said to Dick.

Starfire's dress was attention grabbing, to say the least. The cowl neck dipped low, and the material hugged her body until it stopped high on her thigh. One side was sleeveless while the other was made of long, flowy material that stopped at her wrist in a large, metallic cuffed bracelet that was dotted with gems.

Dick stopped rocking in his chair to look at her and almost toppled backward when an unexpected shove of a mass of dark energy rocked the chair farther back than he was used to. He glared at Raven, who narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'm not dancing with you, Kory," Raven snapped.

She gave Raven the Look. The Look is that thing that Starfire did where she scrunched her eyebrows together and made her eyes wide and blinked a few times. That Look bought her Silkie. Raven, however, was immune to the Look. "No."

Starfire wilted a little, then shrugged and wandered out on her own.

"You're letting her out there by herself?" Dick spluttered.

Raven shot him an annoyed look. "Of course I am. She's perfectly capable of taking care of herself."

Heads turned as she walked out onto the floor, although no one approached her. "Don't you see how they're looking at her?" he growled.

"Yeah. Kind of like the way you were just looking at her," Raven said dryly.

He felt heat creep up his face. "I was not looking at her like that."

Raven glared at him.

"I wasn't," he snapped. Dick narrowed his eyes as some guy reached a hand out to touch Starfire's backside, but before he reached it a line of black energy swept under his feet and he fell on his chin. Dick smiled at that.

"Okay, maybe I _am_ keeping an eye on her," she snapped at his amused smile. "But unless you wanna go up there and take care of it…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Raven rolled her eyes. "If you went up there with her and glared at guys that tried to be an asshole at her, I think you'd find it's more effective than doing that while lurking."

"I don't dance," he answered quickly.

"Right. Especially not that time at the end of that prom."

"That was different!"

"Uh huh."

"Dude!"

Dick turned. That could only be one person.

Beast Boy and Cyborg were making their way toward the table, Cyborg's huge frame making people part before them.

"Who's your friend, Raven?" Beast Boy asked as he jumped over the back of a chair, landing in a sitting position.

"This is Dick."

Beast Boy stared at her for a second before bursting out into laughter. "Dude, is that your name?"

The Teen Wonder glared at his verdant friend, soothing himself with the promise of making Beast Boy do extra training exercises this week.

"That's rude, B," Cyborg muttered, although he looked amused, too.

"Whatever. Sorry about your name," Beast Boy said with a nod at Dick. "Raven, come dance with me."

"If you honestly think I'm going to-"

She was cut off as Beast Boy tipped her chair forward, making her stand, and then forcibly dragged her onto the floor.

Cyborg shook his head after them. "'Sup, Rob?"

"I'll cover Beast Boy's shift for patrol," Robin answered immediately.

Cyborg laughed at that. "Naw, man. You gotta stay."

"I'm not gonna dance."

"Where's Star at? I wanna see how her hologram rings're holdin' up."

"She's… um…" He glanced up, but she wasn't where he'd last seen her. "I don't know."

"Uh oh," Cyborg murmured, standing. "Found 'er."

Dick followed Cyborg's gaze. Over to the bar. A man had his hand on the small of her back as she sipped at a bright drink through a red straw. Cyborg made his way over to her and she threw her arms around him when he approached. The half-robot put a hand on her shoulder and said something to the man, who looked frightened at this point. He steered her back over to the table.

"You can't be takin' all those drinks, Star."

She squinted at him as he sat her down. "Jinx said you must call me Kory."

"It's okay. You feelin' alright?"

"I feel like a drizzid after hes'klar," she giggled.

Cyborg tilted his head at her. "No more drinks unless its water, okay?"

"Do you know, friend, that at first I did not like the taste of the liquids that were being served to me, but I can no longer taste the unpleasantness! I think it is the okay to ingest more."

"Um, no, Star. It ain't."

She frowned at him. "You are simply attempting to bring cramps to my style."

Cyborg rubbed the back of his neck.

"She okay?" Dick asked, peering at her.

"I dunno. I mean, she's kinda… wobbly. And she's actin' funny, but not regular drunk funny. She ain't slurrin' 'er words or nothin'." Cyborg stooped over her and shined a light from her fingertip in her eye, and she pushed his hand back with a whiny protest.

She pouted at him. "That was not the nice. I demand you make it up to me by doing the dancing with me."

"Star, calm down. Maybe you oughta go home."

"I feel the fine, I have told you! I enjoy the blinding lights and pulsing music! My friend was dancing with me before." She stood and attempted to peer over Cyborg's shoulder.

"The one who gave you the drink?"

She gasped. "You saw him?"

"You can't dance with him no more."

She frowned, becoming alarmingly upset. "No one wishes to dance with me!"

Cyborg gaped at her. He turned to Dick, who was equally alarmed. "Help."

"What? How?"

"Just… I dunno, go dance with 'er."

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?" Cyborg demanded impatiently.

"Because… I can't…" He felt his face heat up. "I don't know how to dance. Like this."

"Just do what everybody else is doin'."

Dick gulped. "I can't."

Cyborg glanced around at the other couples, whose dancing consisted mostly of grinding. "Okay, fine. Do what B's doin'."

He glared at Cyborg. "He's making an idiot out of himself."

"Then do what Rae's doin'!"

She was mostly sulking while Beast Boy maneuvered himself in goofy circles around her.

"Fine. Whatever."

"Just a few minutes. Then we'll take 'er home."

"Okay, okay," Dick mumbled irritably. He stood reluctantly.

"Star, Dick's gonna dance with ya," Cyborg murmured.

She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "Truly?"

"Yeah."

She gasped and launched herself at him. "Greetings, new friend!"

"Yeah," Robin muttered. "Just one song, okay?"

"Oh, such fun we will have!" she chirped excitedly. She dragged him out behind her.

He tried to do what Cyborg said and just stand in front of her, but she wouldn't let him.

"I realize that many of your Earthly ways are strange to me, but I believe you are doing this incorrectly." She took his wrists, her grip gentle but firm, and held them at chest level.

He tried to make her drop his hands. "I'm okay. Really."

Squirming like that made her giggle and bring his hands closer to her. "Relax," she said softly, lowering her eyelashes and blinking slowly. "Have the fun."

He dropped his hands, as he was getting uncomfortable with her holding them at chest-level, and she pulled him again. "Um, this isn't usually how I have fun."

"You will not have any of the fun if you have already decided that you do not like it." She dropped his wrists finally, but she only did that so she could run her fingers over his chest.

"Um…" he mumbled, heat rising to his face again.

She trailed her fingers up to the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer gently. Her legs brushed his as she danced and he couldn't squirm away from her with her hands keeping him still. She coaxed him into staying for another song and she crept closer gradually.

Somehow- he didn't remembering actually doing this, it was more like a thing that happened of its own volition- his hand came up to rest on her hip. Her arms were around his neck, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Are you having any of the fun yet?" she purred right into his ear, and he wasn't able to stop himself from shivering.

He swallowed- his mouth was suddenly an odd combination of too wet and too dry. "Um… Starfire… I shouldn't… I mean, you're a little… drunk… and I don't want to take advantage…"

She giggled and rubbed her cheek against his neck. She popped his collar up so that she could press her lips against his skin. "Oh, Robin, I am not intoxicated."

It took a few seconds for that statement to sink in through the fuzz over his brain. When it did, he pushed her back. "Starfire?"

"Yes?" she asked, grinning.

"But… but you… you smell like… you had…" he stammered, a little shaken that she apparently knew he was him the whole time.

"The practice of fermenting fruits and drinking the product is not specific to Earth. Tamaranean liquor is quite potent, and there is no minimum required age to consume it." She tilted her head, considering. "I am perhaps… Belled?"

"You're… oh, buzzed?"

She shrugged. "Perhaps. May we continue with the dancing?"

"I don't really…"

She lowered her eyelashes at him and pouted, blinking. "Please? I am having such fun."

"Ah… fine. One more."

She smiled softly at him. She slipped her arms back around his neck, although he didn't put his hand back on her hip. She tried to coax him into dancing properly, but he kept getting flustered.

Her hips brushed against him gently and he put a hand on her side. "Oh… man, Star, don't do that again," he murmured.

She lowered her head, hair spilling over his shoulders. "My apologies," she said against his skin, her lips brushing his neck. He tilted his head automatically and she pressed her lips against him more firmly. She fisted his shirt in her hands, and putting her mouth in front of his ear, she whispeed, "Are you having the fun _now_?"

He ducked his head to catch her mouth with his, kissing her gently, and that seemed to surprise her. She gasped a lightly before straightening a little to return his kiss.

**OMG I TROLLED YOU SO HARD NO ONE WAS DRUNK. Well, Jinx was. =p Also, I'm not going to do that thing where I'm like "omgggg go to my profile to see pictures of this character's dress haha (winky face)" BUT I based their dresses off of dresses on makemechic . com. That site is REALLY good for club clothes. I use it to just look around and get some inspiration. Just thought I'd tell you, cuz sometimes it's nice to know what someone uses frequently to get their gears turning. I have yet to find a really good site for prom-type dresses yet, other than just googling "prom dresses". If anyone knows, fill me in. OKAY I'M DONE RANTING NOW, sheesh. (I shouted a lot in my A/Ns. I'm sorry for shouting. Iluhyougaiz.)**


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